Olivia

‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘œDon’™t ever look to the world or life to treat you fair, Olivia.’ Remember, what you get is what you strive for – your achievements – your successes.’
‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ The’ Matron’™s words, though serious, were spoken kindly.’ Olivia, now eighteen, was taking final leave of the only way of living she had known since babyhood. The only homes she could remember were the various institutions for the homeless.’ ‘ The first, when she was just three.’ That had been followed by’ ‘œThe Three Oaks Boarding School for Girls’ and, finally,’ ‘ the ‘œMary Hopkins Home For Young Women.’’
‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ Olivia, with the blessing of the staff and of the Matron in particular,’ had now to begin to fend for herself.
‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ The Matron’™s final words often came to mind while’ Olivia made ready for another day at the office.’ A whole year day by single day had come and gone, she thought’ to herself, since she had left the Mary Hopkins institution.
‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ The Matron, Sister Beatrice,’ had often reminded her that as sad as it was to not have had a real home and family she had been lucky also not to have become a street waif as so many do.’ In the institution she had friends, tuition, a roof over her head,’ warm meals, a warm bed.’ She also had not a little love.’ ‘ This last she brought upon herself by being bright, kindly, helping with many of the chores without remonstration. She also avoided trouble-makers and their company.
‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘œCount your blessings, Olivia,’ Sister Beatrice had said kindly. ‘œAlways count your blessings no matter how rough times may be, try and remember that difficult times can often be even worse. A bright face will find friends – a sad face none.’ Count your blessings as often as you feel sad.’ With these words resounding in her ears she had departed ‘œThe Home’ for the last time.’
‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ Twenty pounds she had been given with which to start; to find lodgings ‘“ a job.’ Olivia realised she had a lot to be thankful for’ but from that moment of departure she had begun to know a loneliness that had never left her.’ Loneliness had taken on a new reality. She had made no friends outside the home. The feeling of being alone wrapped itself around her like a cloak ‘“ but a cloak that did not keep out the cold.’ It followed her like a second self or shadow.’
‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘œCount your blessings’. She often repeated to herself the matron’™s words endeavouring to shake off the ghost that accompanied her like an undesirable acquaintance forcing their presence upon her.’
‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘œCecily is nice,’’ turning her thoughts to the girl who sat next to her in the large office where she worked.’ Then another thought,’ ‘œWe’™re going to the Palladium tonight.’ Maybe I’™ll meet someone.’’ This cheered her considerably.’ Olivia was often cheerful.’ She was told that her smile was warm like a soft sun. She was often happy, aware of the simple beauty that surrounded her.’ The sparrows that seemed to follow wherever she went, the green of the trees that lined London’™s City Road,’ a cloud in a sunny sky.’ She would notice, too, a happy face in the crowds of nondescript faces hurrying this way and that in lives, she thought, often even more humdrum than hers. The war had ended almost eight years before, yet times were still hard in England and many items still rationed.
‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ Her thoughts returned to the Palladium ‘“ a large, sumptuous hall in the city where so many couples came to dance.’ Strangers meeting in a dance that may last just a few moments or lead to a friendship of a lifetime. In Olivia’™s mind flashed a picture of a host of butterflies in a hither thither dance in flight – fleeting colours touching as they sought the one with whom to cling. She remembered Tony.’ ‘ That had been Friday exactly three weeks ago.
‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ She wondered what had happened to him.’ They had met on the floor and it had not ended there. ‘œLets go to the flicks tomorrow,’’ Tony had suggested and she’ recalled just how she had so looked forward to the date.’ Had waited at the cinema for over half an hour.’ But Tony had not turned up.
‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ It seemed to Olivia then that a precious article had dropped and broken at her feet.’ For a while she was morose,’ wondering if ever she would find and make a real friend. A small twinge of pain caught her in her midriff ‘“ ‘˜perhaps more than a friend’™?
‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ Olivia turned to face the window on her small, rather dingy room..’ Shaking away those thoughts,’ she watched a sparrow on the sill hopping now here, now there.’ A few had become accustomed to crumbs in the morning.’ ‘ With a smile she reached over and opened a biscuit tin.’ Withdrawing’ some crumbs, she dropped them on the sill smiling as she did so.’ ‘œYou’™ve got a family’, she said a little wanely addressing one, then, brighter, ‘œOne day I shall have a family,’ too, you’™ll see,’ and with a defiant toss of her brown curls she began her day.
‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ As the street lights came on declaring evening, Olivia, tall in a simple plain blue dress set off in good taste with a’ purple silk scarf, looked attractive.’ She and Cecily stepped through the handsome glass doors into the gilt- panelled, brightly lit dance hall to the beat of a samba. No one could beat out a samba rhythm better then Edmundo Ross and his orchestra. A tingle of excitement went through her as the large orchestra filled the hall with its rhythm and sound.’
‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ Her heart had skipped a beat as she felt her hand taken from behind.’ She turned quickly to find that she was staring into a face she recognised. Tony was a little taller than she’ with a face not unhandsome beneath a crop of straw-coloured hair.
‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘œTony! Where…were…what…?’. She fumbled for words that would not come.’ But there was no need to go further.’ Tony held her, not close; one hand upon her left shoulder his right on her hip as if dancing but he only swayed to the rhythm not moving his feet.
‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘œI’™m sorry Olivia.’ Truly.’ I had an accident on the way to the Odeon.’ My shirt was practically ripped off me and I was bleeding. I took a short cut – a nail projecting from a boarded building site.’ Nothing serious. but I just had to skip the date. Aterwards, returning to my digs I found that I was thinking about you all the time.’ Couldn’™t get you out of my mind.’ I began coming every Friday hoping to meet you again .’
‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ Tony blurted out his story without a pause, partly to relieve himself of guilt, partly to explain. While thinking of a reply, Olivia glanced around for Cecily whom she saw being’ wheeled about the floor by a freckled-faced youth that seemed to have no sense of timing at all.’
‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ She turned to Tony with both a smile and heightened joy. Controlling flooding emotions she answered simply, ‘œNever mind, Tony, all’™s well that ends well, isn’™t it?’’ She began to sway to the rhythm.’
‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ Tony caught onto the beat and wheeled her onto the floor their happiness reflected in their glances.’ ‘ Suddenly Tony stopped and holding Olivia almost at arms- length said: ‘œOlivia, there’™s something I must tell you.’
‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ The earnestness of his voice caught her by surprise and she looked at him puzzled.’ ‘œWhat’™s the matter Tony?’ Can’™t you tell me while we dance?’
‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘œI’™d rather not, Olivia.’’
‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ In the foyer they found two vacant easy chairs.
‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘œWhat’™s it all about Tony. Why the urgentcy?’’ The questions came showing a concern Olivia could not conceal.
‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘œI wanted so much to see you again before I leave. Perhaps it was selfish of me but I felt I just had to see you again.’
‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘œLeave? For where? When? For how long?’’ The questions continued coming, surprising even Olivia.’ ‘
‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ In stead of continuing Tony said, ‘œI can’™t say why, Olivia.’ You burst into my life quite unexpectedly.’ It’™s your face – your smile.’ I had to see you again.’ And now I’™m saying all the wrong things.’ He looked down and seemed abashed.’ ‘œI have something else to tell you, Olivia.’’
‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ But to Olivia Tony was not saying the wrong things at all, his words like rain to parched earth. But Olivia’™s heart also clutched at the ‘œbefore I leave’.’ ‘ Her mind was racing; her imagination way ahead of Tony’™s words.’ Again she looked at him in silence.
‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘œOlivia,’ he looked at her sincerely. I want you to know something because I do not want you to be hurt later.’ Not by me.’ Not by anybody.’ There’™s something special about you. His words ringing in her ears, he continued:’
‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘œI have to go to a clinic for a while for tests and, hopefully, a cure. It’™s T.B. and I’™m not a little afraid.’ I suppose most would be in my place.’’
‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ Olivia went cold while Tony continued.’ ‘œThe doctors say that I have better than good chances.’ I feel bound to tell you because I already care for you. Almost the worst is that I must not even try to kiss you. We shouldn’™t even dance too close, either.’ He said this last with a wry smile.’ ‘œBut medicines are wonderful now and with the right care they think that within a few weeks – two months at most, I should be about again.’
‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘œOh Tony! I’™m so sorry,’’ her concern and even fear showing. ‘œWhen are you going?’
‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘œMonday.’
‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘œWould you like me to write, Tony?’
‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘œI should love that, Olivia. More than anything’
‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ Olivia, opening her bag, removed a small diary from it and a pen. Upon a clean page she wrote her full name and address.’ She tore it from the book.’ Handing it to Tony she said: ‘œAnd yours?’
‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘œI’™ll be in my lodgings only a couple more days so I’™ll write to you first, I don’™t know the address. Tony stopped a second time and looking earnestly at Olivia said: ‘œAnd there’™s another thing I want to tell you, Olivia before we go in.’
‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ Again Olivia felt something cold closing in on her.’ ‘œPlease don’™t keep me in suspense again, Tony?’
‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘œI have never known a real family all my life. I was raised in various institutions.’ I know what it is to feel lonely.’ I am telling you this because want to’ be honest with you, Olivia. I don’™t want to surprise or upset you later.’
‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ Olivia’™s face showed her astonishment as she listened.’ It was her turn now to take his hand in hers as she said:’ ‘œI’™m sure you shall become well, Tony.’ I’™m quite positive of it.’ I shall pray for you!’.’ She said the last with a smile, glancing up at him from the corner of her eye But I find it’™s wonderful to remember always to count our blessings whenever we feel low.’
‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ Tony stood and Olivia followed. He was more at ease now that he had unburdened himself. He held Olivia’™s hand in his.’
‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ Remembering something Matron had told her, she lifted Tony’™s hand to examine it closely. It was hard worked and somewhat rugged but also well kept and clean. Tony, possessed by some urge, brought the palm of her hand to his lips and kissed it warmly.’
‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ Olivia, trying hopelessly to hide the blush that came to her face, said simply: ‘œAs for your sad story, Tony, I think most have a tale to tell.