Humor

‘ ‘ ‘ ‘  ‘œOf course it’™s weird, Jack, and out of this world, but I assure you it’™s true. You know Peter quite well ‘“ well enough to know that he’™s a out of his mind when it comes to taking risks. His latest craze is flying what he calls his Bumble-bee, that hang-glider with a motor. And Peter would never opt for ordinary flying ‘“’˜That’™s for sissies,’™ he says. Oh no! That’™s not for Peter. When he flies he goes ground-hugging and when Peter does ground-hugging his feet have to raise a bit of dust otherwise he feels he’™s too high! I’™m telling you he’™s mad,’ and Kenneth shook his head gazing into his beer mug as if he would find …

‘ ‘ ‘  Harry Hawthorn was a small, timid, dark-haired man. Quiet spoken, he loved his peace after a hectic days’ work and to that end had never married. He just could not tolerate the thought of coming home to, what he termed, a squawking baby or a talkative wife.’  ‘ ‘ ‘  Thus it was that Harry loved his quiet home after a strenuous day at the office and his looked forward to, scotch. At the time this story takes place, this peace became disturbed quite suddenly and unexpectedly when his back neighbour, who, it seems reurned from his work at a similar time,’  began to shout and storm with his wife on a regular daily schedule. These shoutings disturbed Harry terribly. ‘ ‘ ‘  …

‘ ‘ ‘  Don’™t walk under an open ladder- bad luck. Ringing bells ‘“ a new angel has received wings. Watching a spider weaving a web in the morning ‘“ you’™ll have a lucky day. Superstitions to me are like water drops on a duck’™s back.’  neither they nor the bunk they call astrology. Bunk, all bunk! That was yesterday. Today I’™m not that sure. ‘ ‘ ‘  Describing a good life in one word? Walter Ibenson the renowned philosopher and philanthropist said that such a word would be none other than ‘œhappy’. Whether crippled or whole, poor or rich it’™s the happy person who has a good life ‘“ a good arrangement of the person’™s genealogical’  make-up – I suppose. ‘ ‘ ‘  I happen …

‘ ‘ ‘ ‘  Adamstown, in the western foothills of the Cascades is a ‘˜one-horse’™ town between Eugene and Salem.’  In the north Rockies, it’™s known as a one-horse town not because there would be only a single horse outside the bar at noon but because it has only one of most of the necessities for it to be called a town at all.’  ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘  One school, one supermarket, one barber, a doctor, a baker and a car-dealer who was also the town’™s mechanic.’  It also possessed an extremely rich real-estate man.’  If one needed a hospital, it was to Eugene they would go. ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘  There are two roads in Adamstown.’  The main one joining the trunk road from Salem to Eugene,’  the …

‘ ‘ ‘ ‘  5.30 a.m. ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘  ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘  ‘œHal- Awake?’ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘  ‘œYea.’ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘  ‘œPenny for ‘˜em.’ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘  ‘œAin’™t got any’ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘  ‘œLiar!’ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘  ‘œ ‘˜mnot.’ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘  ‘œWha’™ d’™ya think of Gloria?’ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘  ‘œDumb.’ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘  ‘œDumb?’  She’™s beautiful!’ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘  ‘œDumb.’ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘  ‘œThen why were you with her half the night?’ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘  ‘œChecking out what makes her tick and dumb.’ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘  ‘œDidn’™t look that way to me.’ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘  ‘œI can’™t help that.’  But the party was great, wasn’™t it?’ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘  ‘œHal.’  You avoiding the question?’ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘  ‘œJulia throws a good party. Spends a lot.’  Champagne – genuine French.’ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘  ‘œYou’™re still avoiding an answer.’ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘  ‘œCheryl, you should know by now that a little competition keeps romance alive.’ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘  ‘œAh, Hal. Now you’™re admitting.’ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘  …

‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘  Vitorio turned restlessly in his bed.’  Before his eyes swam nightmarish images which would not let him rest and an unbearable scream pierced his brain.’  Already the fourth night and his dear Bertha had had no option but to ask him to sleep in the spare bedroom.’  He felt at his wits end for lack of sleep.’  It was causing him a dizziness, at work he was often fraught with fear.’  Vitorio’™s work was on the steel girders that had risen now to one hundred and twenty meters above the street level.’  Sometimes the view of Genoa, the harbour and the sea would become a swimming, spinning blur with him at the vortex.’  At such times he had the …

‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘  To everybody in the village he was simply Fixit – or Mr. Fixit when formality was required. ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘  The tall, portly, man with the heavy eyebrows and thick, greying, curly hair seemed to have no other name.’  In fact if one were to have asked the villagers for another, none would have known.’  ‘œFixit will do it,’’  was a phrase for any one of a hundred things the old man would do for the town council or any one of a hundred kids.’  ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘  Fixit also had other meanings for the kids.’  It meant also warmth and friendship.’  They accepted the things that Fixit did with just such candour as receiving a favour from a parent. ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘  Fixit was …

‘ ‘ ‘  One was tempted to a little laugh when one saw him.’  Short, in his mid- sixties, he had a somewhat sad look about him. His clothes invariably appearing as if they had been selected from a pile of seconds at a jumble sale.’ ‘  His stained peak cap of dark leather had a crumpled look.’  None could guess that when no alternative was at hand he would use it as a bag in which to carry his smaller hand tools. ‘ ‘ ‘  He had lived as an odd- job man for as long as the people of the small town could remember, his curious figure seen frequently in pursuit of this or that.’  One could easily single him out from a …

‘ ‘ ‘ ‘  There never is a good time to find that your car has a flat and the one I discovered that morning could not have come at a worse time. I had set my alarm a quarter earlier to make sure to be in time for an important appointment with a client ‘“ now I was sure to be late. Add to that that my wife was at odds with me and the strange disappearance of the angel, it was all piling up. ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘  I recalled Shakespeare _ ‘œWhen trouble comes it comes in armies…’ Obviously a man who knew life! But let me start at the beginning. ‘ ‘ ‘ ‘  It was about a month ago that, as far as I …

‘œYou know, Walter, It took a remarkable incident to teach me that car- hire in Greece is far from what you’™d expect in, say, European countries.’ ‘œAnton’™s out of the blue statement surprised me somewhat.’  We were standing in front of a travel agent’™s window looking at enticing places in the world to visit, my imagination making wonders out of the forests and beaches of Mauritius.’  I turned to my friend,’  who was eyeing a poster in the corner of the display window of the glory of Athens: the Acropolis and Greek islands – all very colourful and attractive. ‘œSo what’™s all this about car- hire in Greece, Anton?’ Knowing my friend well, I was certain that’  he was on …